I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
The ass gains better be worth it
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