can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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