this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
