my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
