I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
