i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
