Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Randomize
