I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
