He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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