the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
