I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
