Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
