You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
