So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
