yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
