it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
