I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
