What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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