Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
