Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
