you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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