Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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