im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
