There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I got inside last night via doggy door
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
