did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
