You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
