I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize