It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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