let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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