i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
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