so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
