can we get nightvision for the apartment?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
