it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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