Life is so much better after having sex.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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