He is an equal opportunity slut.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
