Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
