my room smells like sperm. sweet.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
