Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
