the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
