i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
