Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
