U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
