Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize