I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
