I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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