I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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