She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It's official drugs can't kill me
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
