Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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