The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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