Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
