New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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