New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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