I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
