hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
