THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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