3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
