Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
