Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
