He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize