We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
