What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Let's get the cat blown out
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
