On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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