Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
